Well, week one of round two is in the books. If I’m being honest, this was a tough week, for multiple reasons. I started with my “Cinco De Mayo Margarita..” (pictured below)
and everything tracked as it had the round before.
Day two I started feelin’ crummy, and day three I was down for the count. But the real reason it was a hard week honestly had nothing to do with my treatments. Over the last month, our congregation has lost two beautiful people. One was a Champion Roper who had a deep faith and lived out his walk with Jesus every day. He worked hard, cared for “his people” and had a heart of gold.
I had the honor of presiding over his Celebration of Life on Thursday. Yes, if the family reads this, I really was good Thursday morning. Still a little foggy in my brain, but I was “there for it.” I wouldn’t have been anywhere else and I am thankful that we had a great day of celebrating the man he was and the legacy he has left behind.
The second loss was a lady who I have prayed for fervently for the last two years. Part of me wants to say “she lost the battle with cancer,” but that is not at all the case, because the joke’s on cancer. She is now celebrating full healing in the arms of her savior.
This lovely lady was a rock. Her faith was unshakable, even to the very end. She beleived in Jesus and what he had done for her so much that when you walked in the room, you couldn’t help but to feel HIS presence.
Two weeks ago when I visited with her and prayed with her for the last time before her passing, I happend to give her one of those little Jesus figurines. As she took her last breaths, she was holding it and a cross in her hands.
May we hold on to Jesus so tightly, even till our last breath.
My one regret with Susan is that she would tell me when she got home she had some questions she wanted to talk with me about. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen, so I guess I’ll just have to wait until I see her again. Of course, by then, we’ll get to ask God himself! What a day that will be!
This last week was full of tough days. Days where I couldn’t lift my head off of the pillow, and days where I didn’t want to. But the reality is, I’ve got so much work to do and so little time to do it.
If it’s one thing about cancer that I have learned, it’s that it puts things into perspective. Things that once took “priority” don’t really matter all that much anymore. Issues at the church or as a Presiding Elder, issues with finances, or things that used to cause me anxiety don’t really both me these days. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be much that bothers me all that much anymore.
But as it is with everything, there are good days and bad days. Easy days, and tough days. Today, was an easy day. Wednesday and Thursday, not so much.
Interestingly enough though, last week I found something on Facebook that piqued my interest. You know how it is, you talk about “tough days” or “hard days” or cancer or something like that and Facebook is listening? Well, I came across a Facebook post from a Non-profit organization called The "Till Valhalla Project.”
From their website:
TVP is a veteran-owned, mission-based company working to Honor the Fallen and inspire the living by offering quality products with extraordinary impact. Our first-of-its-kind mission to reduce Veteran suciced and to make sure no Here goes forgotten is fueld by the sale of premium gear that changes lives. A portion of our net proceeds goes toward funding life-saving therapy for struggling Veterans and surprise-delivering handmade, customized memorail plaques to teh families of Fallen Military & First Responders at no cost to them.
You can find out more if you’d like, but the reason I bring it up is because of one of their main slogans is “Don’t let the hard days win.”
Because of where I am in my battle right now, already having some experienced, but still very much in the beginning, there have been moments when I have had the thought: “I have to do this 6 more times?”
But I am not without hope. I am not even CLOSE to giving up. Nor would I. There are too many people who are praying, to many people who love me, too many people who are fighting with me and for me.
I will not let the hard days win.
Lately, I’ve been watching through The House Of David. If you have Amazon Prime you can watch it, but it is the story of King David and his rise to power as the King of Israel. Where I am in the story at this time is right after King Saul receives word from Samuel that the Lord’s anointing has left him.
As I was watching the first couple of episodes, I wondered if Saul had repented of his sins, would God have removed his anointing. After all, David sinned, and yet God continued to bless him. I believe that the story of Saul is that yes, if you continue to push God out of your heart, he will not fight his way back in. He will, as Paul writes in Romans 1:26, “Give them over to their sinful lusts.”
But when we repent, when we turn back to God, he will be there waiting for us.
There are days that are hard. Perhaps there is a sin in your life that you just can’t shake. You’ve tried so hard to stop doing “it” by yourself for so long, but “it” just keeps rearing its ugly head. There are thoughts you have that creep in that make you beleive a lie that Satan is trying to get you to beleive.
If we’re being honest…that’s hard.
But because Jesus conquered the hardest day in the history of humanity, you too can be more than an overcomer.
I refuse to let the hard days win. For me and for you.
Health Update
This week’s health update is good, although a little frustrating. It was confirmed for me that there will be a total of 8 treatments, no less. I misunderstood and thought there would only be 6, with a possible 8, but it will be the full regimen. That’s ok. What’s two more treatments among friends?
But on the very good side, my Oncologist believes based on her assessment this past week that the treatments are already working, and that the disease is responding to the chemo. The swelling in my neck has gone down, and things are looking good.
She did discuss the possibility of a couple of rounds of radiation, but that will be determined after my midway PET Scan on the 17th of June.
I know there is quite a bit of the journey ahead, but I am glad you are on it with me. It is my hope that as you have read these that you see that even in the midst of “hard things” God is still Good.
If you need someone to talk to, or if you just need prayer, I would be honored to lift you up or even chat with you!
Know that you are loved. I may not even know you, but because Jesus loves me, I love you.
And As always,
Stay Hungry for God, My friends.
Pastor Bryan
Much love and many prayers!
Love, love, love to you, Rev. Son.