Well...Here Goes Something...

The Beginning of a Journey

Mar 26, 2025

I turned 40 on January 19 of this year [2025]. My kids have often joked with me that I was one of those people born in the 1900’s. Yes. It’s true. 1985 to be exact.

I’m at that stage in life where all the kids think I’m ancient, and all of my…well seasoned friends…think I’m just a child. It really is a weird place to be. But my body…well…it has some other ideas.

I have a friend of mine who told me (a couple of times) a statement that made me both laugh and cringe: “Welcome to 40, your random ailment will be assigned to you in short order.”

The Thursday after I turned 40, 4 days to be exact, I woke up to a pain in my neck. Literally. I had a lymph node become inflamed and very sore on the back of my neck. This prompted a conversation with my Primary Care Physician and a course of antibiotics to see if we were dealing with an infection.

After that, the swollen lymph node diminished greatly, but there was something else underneath my jaw line. A lump that wasn’t going away.

This began a crazy two month period. Blood Tests, CT Scans, and a needle biopsy. I give an FNA a Yelp Score of 1 out of 5…do not recommend.

After the Biopsy came back with “not enough information” according to the ENT Doc I was referred to, the decision was made to do a excision, where they were going to take out the over functioning lymph node and anything else they found suspect. So, on March 18 I got to have the best nap I’ve had in a long time. During that nap, I had three lymph nodes removed and a drain put in.

Allow me to also say that if there were negative points on reviews, the drain is much worse than the FNA, and I would give it a -5 out of +5.

At my appointment on March 25, they removed the drain (praise the Lord), told me I was going to have to come back in a week to remove the stitches from the incision site, and then told me that I have a confirmed case of Classic Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

I am now being referred to an oncologist in Fredericksburg, TX and have officially begun my journey with Cancer.

How do I feel about this?

Well…

I mean…

Welcome to 40?

Honestly, I’m not really sure how I feel about all of it. At points I feel terrified. At points I feel secure in my faith and in my ultimate destination. Other times I’m confused and ask questions like, “how did this happen?” “What caused it?” “Did I drink one to many Dr Peppers or have one to many sweet-n-lows?”

Then there are times when, as I have through these whole two months, where the presence of God is so thick that I cannot help but to give him praise.

If you’ve known me for any length of time, you know I love to write. Over the last few months, I haven’t had all that much time to write. But I guess now is as good a time as any to restart. It always helps for me to write down my thoughts. So, for a little while anyway, I’ll write about this journey I’m on; it’s hills and valleys, its stops and starts, moments of fear and peace, love and courage, and even a few shout outs along the way.

Right now, where I’m leaving this entry is that I am thankful for the Doctors I have in my life.

I serve a Church with multiple doctors, and even a pharmacist! My PCP is a phenomenal doctor and a good calming presence who I can reach out to any time and ask questions, and he will answer them…honestly. I also have another Doctor in my church who just seems to randomly know when to show up in my office and come walk me off a ledge of fear. (Yes…that really happened).

I close with this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings and A Scripture.

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
~Haldir to Merry

More important, I hope you will continue to walk along with me on this journey, whether out of curiosity, for your own hope, or even because you just want to, and that you read these words from the Gospel of Luke 5:20